Thoughts 7.4.26
I am starting with the date titles since I decided to open this blog as a private outlet for my inner world, to peak out you know hehe.
Gotta first say something: Emily - fuck you. After so long I realized you telling me 'You have no agency, you are not reliable ' while you knew me over a month as you gave me wishy washy back and forth signs - is low. Fuck you - I don't need a bimbo faking shit, not even being real in one way or another just to keep me guessing - I wish you nothing, just nothing.
Kim - Trashy 'friend' I never judged you sucking hard and being low in life but when I AM in bad place and you figured your shit with my help and you judge me it's good? Fuck you, enjoy your weed smoking buddies high society - I judge you now - I judge you as IRRELEVANT.
Dima - You were the only person back then I thought as family I loved you dearly and realized it's all about being in your comfort and not about with who you are in contact but just being in contact, just being in a relationship for the sake of a relationship - not to end up as a incel 9gagger boohoo lonely me man child, with anger issues and control issues - I am glad I left.
Lisa - Lying, pathetic, I can't believe I did all the way to meet you just to realize you are a fucking child in 30's. BimbHoe. Trashy, idiot, I didn't need to invest time to try to 'help or heal' because fuck this shit - love is not about healing someone. It's not about GIVING just for the other part to acknowledge - my bad, my mistake - glad you are fucking away from my life. Now that I am in my late 20's I realize...How fucking low my standards were. BEH.
Daniella - The fuck was I been doing over a year about you...???? I can't believe I was thinking there was a 'spark' when first night you were drinking like an alcoholic not controlling yourself. Fuck me, I was idiot hahaha.
Hannan - I can't believe I even tried that. Course you for making me play league of legends and getting addicted for 7 years. I understand now that me lacking my attention and guys no matter who or what - will always use it shows that I needed that lesson. GOOD LESSON. GOOD FUCKING LESSON. I am happy I left.
Maya - leaving me on low fire for 4 years, giving me the illusion there is a chance you will 'take the leap' HUH and then asking my best friend to be with you funnily he fallen for me LEL (wish you the best tictoc dude, you were ok) Lying, two timing on your husband to be, little me princess nobody wants to be my friend I need a savior I NEED ATTENTION - fuck you hoe.
The best thing I realized is that I walked away from all these people. I decided I am not in contact or will never try to be. I decided FOR MYSELF. As much as it seems I AM ANGRY, it's more like...damn...such wasted time but hey, good lessons. Probably there are more people I wanted to express to them my thanks for helping me see I gotta step up for my decisions. I hate life ffs, but I AM STILL HERE...why...WHyyyyyySigh I am learning to program python now, hopefully I will stick to it.
GO FUCK YOURSELVES SHITTY PEOPLE, I understand now that it's not always me who is at fault sometimes...not even about fault it's about responsibility, accountability, and showing up to the other person. People are not capable of consistent mutuality.
